The memory of that very first moment I laid eyes on my Livia Grace is still so vivid.  I can close my eyes and be back in that OR, anxiously awaiting that first cry.  The moment is still slow motion in my mind.  Jake is by my side, nervously wanting to just jump over that curtain to watch her arrival.  Right before I saw her, I got extremely nauseous.  My very good friend, Greg, was the CRNA for her delivery.  I hand picked him, of course.  A perk of being a surgical tech.  He took away my nausea with an alcohol wipe.  I’ll never forget taking a deep breath of that and instantly feeling better.  He whispered to me that it would only be a few more minutes.  Thank you Greg, for being in these memories!  They announced that she was here.  No cry.  Then, in a beautiful moment, they lifted her over that blue sheet and there she was.  Feet crossed, hands under her chin, red full lips, and a head full of dark dark hair.  She was perfect.  It wasn’t until she was placed in the warmer that I heard her cry.  I love this memory.  I pray that it will remain this vivid until my last day.

Today is Livia’s Golden birthday.  6 years old on the 6th of February.  I CAN NOT believe she is 6.  Time really does fly by when you’re having fun.  Liv’s birthday is always bittersweet.  It’s a day to celebrate her life.  She’s ours, she’s here.  However, it’s also a reminder that one more year has passed, and when she’s only got so few here on earth, well, it’s a hard piece of birthday cake to swallow.  Jake stayed home this morning to get Livia out of bed and spend some time with her.  Before she was out of bed, we had some time together.  I had a hard day yesterday.  Reflecting on that reality of one more year passed.  Jake is having a hard day today.  He said, we are robbed of the birthday celebration for Livia.  Of course it’s a day to celebrate, but it’s a time we don’t ever want to come around.  365 days goes by way too fast.  I love how Jake and I can balance each other out.  He lifts me up, and in turn I try to lift him up when he is down.  We’ve become really really good at just looking at this day.  Living in the present is our day to day motto.  If we don’t, it gets ugly.  Tomorrow is never promised, so today we will celebrate that we get to celebrate another year with Liv.  

 My Goldie Locks, Ray of Sunshine girl.  Happy Golden birthday to you.  Your beauty and love is the greatest gift I’ve ever been given.  To know that God trusted me enough to take care of you is something I don’t take lightly.  Every day that we get to keep you in our presence is a day to celebrate.  Your life is a celebration.  This year has been a great year.  Thank you for being so loving and sweet.  Thank you for making me a better person.  May year 6 be peaceful and every single 365th day be a celebration of you and our family.