Today I took Finley to her 2 year well baby appointment. A little late, but none the less, we got the appointment done! It was really nice spending some one on one time with her. I have to say, her personality is getting better and better. She is hilarious, and I think she knows it. Anyway, as we were waiting in that child friendly waiting room, I was filling out the questionnaire about your child’s development. I was breezing through it, reading some of it to Finley (her latest favorite line is “what are you doing?”) and it took me back to when I had to fill out the forms for Livia. At the time, I didn’t know any better, but today I can remember sitting in the waiting room filling out the form for Liv questioning some of the questions. Asking myself, does she really do this? Well, kinda…….. maybe? I think I’ve seen her do that once. I just thought it was normal to have to think about the questions. With Finley, there were no questions. So then the appointment. Our nurse practitioner, D, who also see’s Liv, came in to greet us. Finley was so excited to see her and insisted we were there for a haircut, not a Dr. appointment. D asked Finley a series of questions, usually laughing after Finley’s response because it was so on point and cute. She had Finley perform a couple tasks, like drawing some shapes and making a light go on certain spots that D cued. After this was all finished D told me how advanced Finley was for her age. She said that her speech was way ahead of where it should be. She told me that the tasks Finley were able to accomplish, most 2 year old’s could not. She then said that Finley was extremely intelligent and I should be very proud of her. Finley then told D that we were going to go have Red Mango. It was a very good appointment and made me feel extremely blessed and fortunate. It also made me think about the balance in my life. Balance? A state in which opposing forces harmonize. Now, I, by no means view my girls as opposing forces. However, I couldn’t help but reflect on these two very different Dr. appointments that I experienced this week. I felt like I was on both ends of the spectrum with them. Livia, who is developing well, but differently, and Finley who is ahead of the game. I couldn’t help but think about balance. Imagine a scale. One side of that scale says MPS. The other side says typical. I thought about how my life would look if the scale only had MPS on one side or vice versa. If the scale tipped with only “typical”, how would my life be right now? Would I be recognizing and celebrating every small development that Finley is making? I’m talking about the things that people might take for granted like using silverware, blowing bubbles, walking by my side in the store without running away, throwing away garbage, chasing butterflies in the backyard, or initiating our “beautiful” game. This is hard to say, but, I wonder how mindful I would have been with everything. Would I be living everyday with such purpose and drive? I wouldn’t get to feel what raising an angel on earth feels like. To know that my 4 year old is changing lives in her own special way. What if the scale tipped with only MPS? Would I have as much hope and faith? I know I would still have the strong drive to make our foundation a success. Would I be afraid of the future? I wouldn’t get to know what typical feels like. To know how blessed I am to have a miracle like Finley and watch her grow in a typical matter. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I feel like my life is balanced with having Livia AND Finley. I get to experience things that most people don’t. MPS has balanced my scale by giving me patience, faith, compassion, and love. Typical has balanced my scale by bringing normalcy, perspective, hope, and love. I’m sure the scales in my life will be asymmetrical at times with both aspects having the ability to bring that balance back. Each of my children bring a lot to this journey of life. I feel like I’m in a unique place and God has intended for me to find this balance.
Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”