I wish I could understand what makes a good day verses a bad day. How is it that I can be on top of this world ready to face anything with my head held high one day, and the next, cry at the drop of a hat and feel like my tiny accomplishments aren’t going to make a bit of difference? I can recognize all the blessings in my life. I’m so lucky that this new life has provided cleansed and renewed eyes that are wide open all the time. Unfortunately, it’s taken a tragedy for this to happen. This burden that hangs over my head all the time can get in the way or cause a blind spot. I fight with all my worth to have good days. It’s easy when I’m surrounded by laughter and love. All of this can be a bit overwhelming at times. Especially when they are bundled: these blessings and burden. I’m emotionally drained balancing it all. I’m extremely thankful and happy to have good things coming our way in the name of our daughter. I’m anxious and worried about getting everything done and planned to reach our goals. I’m sad and scared about the future. I’m tired of fighting with myself in my head about what my priorities should be. It’s all so much when all I really want to do is not worry and just play with my kids. With all of that said, I know that I can handle it. I know I’ve been given the tools, the mind, and the heart to make it through this.
Some blessings:
Last Saturday was the first home game for the Roscoe Rush football team. Our friends the Kelly’s (owner’s of the team) have graciously allowed Liv Life to set up a booth during their games. They have organized a radio commercial through espn 1380, the foundation is being announced during the games and they have written a newspaper article about another fundraiser we are doing. This is only the beginning of “events” they are helping us with. It’s a good example of selflessness and generosity that more people need to take note of. Thank you for helping us and loving our kids!!!
People are starting to approach me about my blog or about the foundation. It is such a blessing to know that in some small way I’m helping someone else through my honesty. I’ve met some really amazing people that in their own ways have helped me and inspired me. I’m so fortunate to have people that really do care and want to help. I can’t do this alone………so thank you for your honesty and thank you for just talking to me!!!!!
Livia and Finley are both doing so well. Jake is almost done with school. His hours have been much better and he’s been home in the early afternoon. This summer already seems to be jammed packed with things to do; surgery, appointments, vacations, fund raising events etc. etc. I’d much rather be busy than not. As hard as it is sometimes to balance all of my emotional to-do’s, it keeps me busy.
Upcoming fundraisers and events that keep us focused on our goals. I feel more in control about the situation doing SOMETHING. I feel like my goals are big, but why not aim high? I have nothing to lose. My latest thought has been “mission for a million.” This is very ambitious, but like I said, I have nothing to lose. I really feel like if we can find the best way to market Liv Life or touch the right person something big will come our way. I at least have to try.