Saturday we went into Champaign to take the girls to see Jake’s grandma geegee, and my grandma Fish. Livia was dressed as an Illini cheerleader and Finley had a onesie on, from Becca, that said baby’s first Halloween. The visits were very nice. Livia was a little scared at the nursing home, but my grandma was so happy to see us. We then went and had lunch with my dad and Carol. It was great to see them as well. The girls got really nice trick or treats from them. Saturday afternoon we went trick or treating to my mom’s house and autie AuAu was there too! Livia had a costume change and was now in her lion outfit. Finley was now a chick! Allison, Alexa, Patti, and Grammy all came over and then we went to trunk or treating at the community building in Homer. It was very cold and windy, so it didn’t last long.
What a weekend! Jake, Livia, Finley and I traveled to central Il on Friday afternoon. Jake took half the day off, so we were able to leave by 1pm. We celebrated with the Hubert’s that evening with a nice dinner at the Possum Trot. Grandma Cindy is retired!!!!! YAY! I know she will really get to enjoy all her free time with projects around the house, knitting, sewing, and visiting all her kiddo’s! Both of my girls were so tired during dinner. Livia was good, but little Finley screamed most of the time. Poor things were both in clothes that were too small for them. A lot of my neighbors have given us hand-me-down clothes (which is the greatest thing in the world) Becca (my running and pilates mate) gave me an outfit that her daughter wore for pictures for Finley to wear. The outfit is so adorable I wanted her to wear it at least once. The outfit fit except the pants came up to her knees. I didn’t know how bad it was until I got her out of her car seat already at the restaurant. My mom and Jake’s mom got the girls dressed and told me that the clothes were too small. I just shrugged it off because we had to get going. Oh well, we survived. Thanks Becca for the cute outfit, at least she wore it once!!!!
Sunday, today, has been such a long day. The time change is so weird, and hard to get use too. Even though I’ve been doing it for 28 years! Maybe it’s different because I try so hard to stick to a schedule. Anyway, we had the Franzen Thanksgiving/family reunion today. It was nice to see some familiar faces. I had a bit of a hard time at the reunion. It’s hard to hear the “whispers” of people talking about our situation. I don’t mean this in a bad way by any means. It’s just how I’m describing it. I know a lot of people know what’s going on with our family, but I don’t know who knows and who doesn’t. It’s hard for me to hear my mom or anyone talking about Livia behind my back when I’m sitting just inches away. Again, this isn’t intended bad and I’m not mad at you mom. I just wish people would talk to me or feel like they can approach me about our situation. I’m sure people don’t know what to say……….what do you say. I try to put myself in other people’s shoes and think if roles were reversed. Before all of this happened to us I probably wouldn’t just walk up to someone and put my hand on their shoulder and talk to them about their daughter’s terminal illness. But now………you better believe I would do just that. It’s so much worse to hear people talking about you and not too you. I know this doesn’t always have to be what people want to talk about. I understand that and I don’t always want to have to talk about it. There are a lot of good things to talk about too. I want to be approachable and I don’t want people to be afraid to talk to me. One of the hardest things to deal with, along with all of this, is feeling like you’ve lost friends. There has been a tremendous amount of people that have come forward to support us, listen to us, cry with us, and just love us. People that maybe we were connected with in the past and people that have always been in our life. There are people who I thought would be there who aren’t. This is so heart breaking to me. I try not to let it bother me, but I have shed tears because of it. I think I’m so sad about it because its people who I really love. Friends who have been friends for many years. There is a section in the book “Holding onto Hope” that spoke to me when it comes to friends. It is the Comforters section. One paragraph that has really helped me says “If you and I want to be free of the bitterness that estranges us from others and eats away at our own struggle to find joy again, we are going to have to forgive and pray for the friends who have let us down. They might not deserve it. In fact, they probably don’t. But then, we don’t forgive people because they deserve it; we forgive them because we’ve been forgiven so much by God and because we want to keep in close relationship with God. And the benefit is that through forgiving, we’re set free. When we are able to accept what others have to offer in out time of sorrow, as well as their limitations, we are no longer bound by our expectations or embittered by disapointment in others.” I do forgive………………and I do love you! I ask for your forgiveness also. I know I can always make improvements to myself to be a better friend.
All in all it was a good weekend. I love my family and friends so much. I’m happy to announce that our shop for a cause fundraiser through Macy’s brought in a total of $1,635.00 for MPS research! Thank you to everyone for their generous donations. Thank you to Jake, Karin, Audra, Jim, Grandma Diane, Cindy, Heidi, and Jenn for helping sell the tickets. You all have a special place in my heart. I love you all so much.