The family and I were in Central IL for yet another weekend. Jake was inducted into the sports hall of fame at Heritage HS. It was a lovely evening to meet the players and see old friends. I’m so proud of my hubby. It’s always so nice to hear everything he has accomplished.
For some reason or another, this weekend was very emotional for me. I was brought to tears on many occasions. I find it amazing how some days I can let things roll off my shoulder or not dwell too much on my “haunting thoughts,” and other days things seem to push the dagger in just a little farther.
We went to a harvest lunch at church today. I cried all the way there. I must have had an inclination of the emotions to come. We have so much support and concern from so many people. It really is a comfort. I appreciate the things people have to say to me. I’m glad they are taking the time to say things to me even if I am a weepy mess. I’m able to reflect later on these people and the things they have to say to me. I know its hard to know what to say, I don’t think I’d know what to say to me. I know I had mentioned in one of my previous posts about regret and not saying important things to people in hard times. I have to tell you a particular case of this that happened to me today. Let me start with a little background info. When I was in HS. a girl in my class named Tara was in a very bad car accident. She was on her way home from play practice, and I was on my way home from softball. I was the first to come upon her rolled van. Tara had been reaching for her cell phone that was in the passenger side of her vehicle and took the van to the right side of the road, into a ditch that caused the van to roll and came back onto the road and was laying on the drivers side. I immediately got my cell phone out and called 911. I ran to her and was able to see her and talk to her. I asked her what her parents phone number was and called them. Mind you we were in the middle of no where Broadlands, IL so it seemed like an eternity for anyone to get there. Another car did stop, but I don’t remember much about them. I turned my focus on Tara. I was able to crawl into the van to get close to her and hold her hand. I remember talking to her about prom. I don’t remember Tara crying a lot. She was really strong. She kept telling me that her neck and back hurt and that she was sleepy. I knew to just keep talking to her and calm her. I rubbed her forehead and thought of the most random stuff I could to keep her occupied. Once the ambulance got there I had to step away. I can remember wanting to stay with her and just hold onto her hand. More cars had shown up than I realized. People were standing in the corn fields watching from a distance. My dad came. At some point I did call my parents and tell them what was going on, but I don’t remember making that call. We stayed until they got Tara out and helicoptered her away. I remember making eye contact with her when she was on the stretcher. I yelled to her that she was going to be ok. I went to visit Tara a few times in the hospital. I remember the first time I went to see her. She couldn’t talk. She would blink once for yes and twice for no. She smiled a lot. Tara is a quadriplegic. I can’t tell you the last time I’ve seen her. I do think of her often. I see her grandparents at church. Today, her grandma came up to me while I was feeding Livia. She talked to Livia, asked how we were doing, told me that she kept us in their prayers. I then asked her about her family and specifically about Tara. She told me that Tara got to go to a concert recently and was so thankful she was getting to go to Springfield for something fun and not for surgery. This touched my heart and I was starting to cry. I told her that I think of Tara often. Louise put her hand on my shoulder and said “you know, I think you were the one who saved Tara’s life.” I lost it. Louise walked away and that was the end of our conversation. I didn’t do anything but be a comfort to someone in need. Tara was in a situation that no one ever expects to be in. She didn’t need to be alone. If it were me in that van I would hope someone would stay by my side. I only did what I would have wanted. Nothing more. We all need someone to stand with us. I thank you Louise for saying that to me.